So the first chapter has lived up to my expectations of this not being a fluffy, try this technique to feel better about yourself book. I picked out this bright orange book and thought…”hmm, what if God shows up and convicts me…then I’ll have to change or quench the Spirit. God doesn’t like it when I quench the Spirit” (side note, it was right beside Crazy Love at Sam’s which I also want ASAP) I was worried about not having time to read (just had a baby, have a 7 year old in school, working from home, domestic goddess duties, womens ministry at my church, other bible study I’m in on Tuesdays, etc) The first week I got it I found time to read 2 chapters! PTL
THE AMERICAN DREAM
I do this thing where I play out these stories he’s telling in my head like a movie. Like his story about being in the underground house-church in Asia. I imagine that I’m living in that town and how I would noncholantly sneak away. who would watch my kids? is it stuffy from being closed up, I hate breathing breath? I would be so nervous about being caught I couldn’t pay attention. And it dawns on me what stuck out most to me in that first chapter. I’m TOO comfortable! “We were settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves.” We are startging ro redefine Christianity. “We are molding Jesus into our image…..that is whome we are most comfortable with”. I have everything I need to make it in life. (Not everything I want mind you) I got disgusted with myself (again) for my complaining critical spirit. I have it way easy! A husband who provides, a gorgeous house, nice car, private school for my children, a bible within reach at almost anytime, a stainless steel fridge FULL of food, hot indoor plumbing….etc. I could do a whole post of things I’m grateful for but take for granted. (note to self) I remember reading Safely Home by Randy Alcorn and thinking about those people in that book for months afterwards, like daily. It’s like they were real! While those particular people weren’t real…I know some lives go just like that story in different countries.
IS HE WORTH IT?
Chloe asked me last night what “deprerate” (desperate) meant. I had to think about it for a second on how to explain that to my 7 year old. I explained it as someone who feels they have no hope. I asked her if she knew what hope meant. She did. So I said, someone who’s desperate is someone who feels they have nothing to look forward to, or they don’t have a way out of a bad time they’re having in their life. She said, “oh, see ya”. running off to soccer practice. “Do we really believe he is worth abandoning everything for?” I know I don’t find my fullness in him. I fill my life up with “stuff”. ugh, so much stuff! “commit to believe what Jesus says” “commit to obey what you have heard”. I have no trouble committing…I do it all the time for school, church, friends, family, etc. But to determine not to waste my life on anything but a “uncompromising, unconditional abdomenment to a gracious loving Savior” is RADICAL RISK! I do want that radical reward though!