Enjoy Them February 28, 2012

Bad night with Chloe.  Discipline issues and just an all around crap night.   Brody was fussy.   Coco peed on the floor AGAIN!  Muddy shoes, messy kitchen, and no chocolate in the house!
I was so ready to just veg  in front of the TV tonight.  But then I read the next addition in   Cultivating a Heart for Motherhood.  She shares the following about loving your children, not just spending time with them.  We sometimes neglect to enjoy them.  So true.

Constant Love. Yes, but how?

• Smile. Really smile at them.
• Enjoy. Take time to revel in the wonder that is your child.
• Give them your heart.
• Engage.
• Dance.
• Play.
• Sing.
• Listen to their dreams.
• Whisper in their ear.
• Bake together.
• Goof off together.
• Make memories together.

Here’s to starting over tomorrow!

7 February 21, 2012

Started reading Jen Hatmaker’s book 7.  Don’t even know what to say.  Laughing, crying.  Loving it.  She and I are one in spirit, though we’ve never met.  I think we’re kind of alike, her and I.  At least from what I’ve read so far, sounds a lot of some things I’ve said/done/ thought about.

Much to think about tonight.

Some Difference February 8, 2012

I love how my kids are so different!  Sometimes I just sit and think of all the ways…
Having a girl for almost 7 years before I got my son, I was not prepared for what having a boy would be like.  From pregnancy, to labor, to this day, they are SO different, besides the obvious.  We didn’t find out what we were having, so a girl was a surprise.  I was sure it was going to be a boy.  Chloe’s pregnancy was cake, labor sucked but not too long, 8 hours.  But from day one, she was a fussy, difficult baby!  She wouldn’t nurse, she cried all the time, she go sick from 5 months on, never slept through the night!  It was exhausting.  She didn’t nap very long at a time.  Besides not knowing who I was after having a baby, I was dealing with sleep deprivation and not knowing if I was doing the thing right.  She had ear tubes at 11 months, tonsils out at 3 years.  She took a binky until she was 3.  She slept horrible.  It sounds all negative…but it really was hard.
Pregnancy with Brody was rough. He was on my sciatic nerve so from 5 months on I was in complete misery daily.  Nights were horrible, days were horrible.  We knew we were having a boy which I was not so happy about.  I wanted another girl, so I had to get over it!  I got really sick when I was 8 months and had to go to the hospital, I couldn’t stop throwing up and they were afraid I would go into labor.  Labor and deliver were cake!  I went home the next day.  He nursed like a champ!  He didn’t sleep through the night till about 3-4 months, but he napped so well.  When he finally did start sleeping through the night he didn’t cry out like she did.  He went from taking 3 naps a day, to 2 naps a day.  He just started taking 1 nap a day in January!  He wasn’t sick much his whole first year.  He sleeps when he’s sick, which was a shock to me.
I love how God placed in Chloe the heart of a girly girl, but also she is rough and tumble and can play with worms and fish!  She loves jewelry and play makeup , she loves to dress up, high heels and nail polish.  She loves to pretend, to help me cook, and boss people around.
Brody just knew how to be a boy.  One day he found a car and started pushing it around, like a car should go.  He loves to be rough and tackle and growl.  He climbs and gets into everything.  (Chloe never did that).  He’ll tell me off in baby language.   I love discovering new things about him.
I can’t imagine not having them in my life.  Are there things I’d do differently if I could go back, sure.   But I’m so grateful that God’s ways are not our ways.

For a Moment February 7, 2012

“And the fundamental mission of motherhood is the same as it always was: to nurture, protect, and instruct children, to create a home environment that enables them to learn and grow, to help them develop a heart for God and His purposes, and to send them out into the world prepared to live both fully and meaningfully. It is up to us to embrace that mission as our own, trusting God to walk us through the details and to use our willing mother’s hands as instruments of His blessings.” -Sally Clarkson, The Mission of Motherhood

“So, we as women, inasmuch as we are able, are to be focused on loving and nurturing the children God has given us. It’s how we were created and it is where we will find our greatest joy.”
For the briefest moments today….I felt like I got it, like I was doing it, I had a handle on it!  LOL  And then supper, homework, etc. etc. etc.   psha!
So, I’ll pray again for your wisdom Lord and your guidance, help me be a more nurturing momma.

I’m Weary January 31, 2012

Do not grow weary in doing good.  Gal 6:9.  Well, I’m weary.  and I don’t feel I’m doing any good.  Just discouraged being a mom, wife, daughter, friend, etc. etc. etc.

Our church lost a wonderful woman suddenly this past week.  She worked in our church nursery for over 50 years!  She took care of both of my children and she was always asking about them and had a smile on her face.  When I couldn’t wait to drop them off, and get on with my duties at church, she was always patient and kind.  When we would miss a  Sunday she would ask where/how Brody was.  Such a sweetheart.  She’s in heaven with her husband and son now.  I should be happy, but I’m sad.  For myself.

I can’t believe the Gentleness Challenge is over.  I’m not ready.  I’m not gentle.  I’ve yelled and used sarcasm and the silent treatment.  I’m not in the word daily or spending time fasting and praying.  I haven’t got it all together yet!  CALGON!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, what now.  I’ll try to remember these past 4 weeks and use softer words, and try not to yell, to manage my home better and most of all, ask Jesus for help before striking out.
I think I’ll check out the Grace Full Mama.

 

 

Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad attitude. January 24, 2012

That’s me today!  Ever since Chloe got in my bed at 2:30 this morning b/c of the thunderstorm….I’ve been grouchy, short tempered, snippy, sulky.  I feel like I’ve set the tone for the whole week to be, well, crap.
The parenting tip on today’s blog from the Duggar mother, whom I struggle greatly to respect,was a profound statement!  ”Ask God to help you conquer your anger because it can destroy your relationship with your children.  Praise them 10 times more than you correct them.”  I am not daily asking God for help with my anger.  I see my anger chipping away at my character, and putting chinks of anger into my daughter’s armor.

I loved today’s challenge @ women living well.  They encouraged me that everyone has those days and I need to make the conscious choice to change my words and the way I praise them.  I as a Christian parent have to look different.
I really like Angela’s example of 2 cor 10:5  take every thought captive.   I’ve had a rough evening feeling emotional and not like myself.  Feeding Brody his bottle had me in tears about my attitude, fears about my emotions, and shame about my mothering /spousing today.   She mentioned we should be using  God’s word is our filter.  I’m not using the filter.   I’m NOT using the filter often enough.  It’s not my first thought to direct my children back to the cross.  (slap)

What my morning should have looked like was talking to my child about her fears, not to focus on the fear itself, but directing it back to God, that He will always be faithful to us.  I’m constantly reminding her “you’re making the choice to disobey/use attitude/lie/be angry”, etc  I need to take heed of my walk, since I’m so good at the talk!

This week’s challenge is to add in words of praise for Christlike qualities.
Tomorrow has got to be better, right?

Nothing More Than Feelings January 23, 2012

I have this feeling….uncertainty, dread, angst, discontentment…can’t really put my finger on it.  But one thing for sure, change has happened.  We got a puppy.  I didn’t want a puppy.  I don’t want another dog.  I have 1 dog, he’s old, he’s easy, he pees outside, he doesn’t bark, can’t see, can’t hear.  We went to Petland and looked a puppies (always a problem) and held this cute little puppy that of course was extremely adorable, and extremely discounted.  Chloe begged, Brad was all for it.  So he left it up to me and if you could have seen my little girls face with this puppy.  And she promised to take it out, clean up after it, etc.

So far I’ve cleaned up pee 3 times!  THRICE!
So far I’ve almost crushed her under my size 9 1/2′s.
So far Chloe  dropped her off the counter.
So far Brody has laid on her, poked her, kissed her, kicked her, pushed a toy car into her.
So far all we’ve fought over her name since the drive home.  I want to call her CoCo, Chloe wants to call her Nugget, and Brad wants to call her a him!!!
OY VEY!

We went to Wal-Mart and bought a little kennel, bedding, sweet smelling puppy shampoo, chew toys, treats.  For Pete’s sake we’ve had a dog for 13 years!
I know this is going to be hard and I’m not ready for it.
I don’t want to clean up after a-n-o-t-h-e-r thing!
So, I’ll lie awake tonight hoping her kennel isn’t all poopy/peey.  That she doesn’t whine all night.  That she’ll eat tomorrow and learn how to let herself out and in.

Here’s to hopin’.